Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day

Mother's Day is coming up in a few days and so I have been thinking about my mother.  She has been gone for almost 9 years already.  Just can't believe it has been that long.  In going through old letters and cards that our mother had saved over the years, I found so many beautiful Mother's Day cards that she had received from family.  The picture of our mother was taken September 8, 1946 and is one of my favorites.  She had such a beautiful smile.  

A verse inside one of the cards and written by Linda Lee Elrod says it all....

Mother--such a simple word

that means so very much... 

a little hug, a great big smile,

a warm and gentle touch.

Mother--such a simple word

to cover all the ways

she's helped you out, and picked you up,

brought sunshine to your days.

Mother--such a simple word 

for someone held so dear,

for someone who is cherished
even more with every year.

Mother--such a simple word,

and, yet, there is no doubt,

six simple little letters

spell what love is all about. 

Happy Mother's Day

Borried Time

A 1937 Letter From Mariah To Cliffie  

When you first look at old family pictures of relatives you never knew, there doesn't seem to be a connection between you and those long forgotten family members.  Most of the time, you aren't even sure who they are or if they really are related.  But, after looking at the pictures over and over and putting names to faces, you do start to connect.  In fact, just looking at pictures of the family reunions, vacations, activities and reading their stories, you start to feel part of the family. 

I have found and come to know quite a few old family members and there have been some that I wish I could actually have a conversation with.  Mariah Saul Weisenauer is my great, great-grandmother and lived in Plevna, In.  My great-grandfather and her son, Ed Weisenauer, I did know and we use to have family reunions at his farm.  He past away in 1976.  Mariah is seen in a lot of the old family photos and is one of the those that I would have liked to have met.  In pictures, she seems prime and proper and very disciplined.  I seriously doubt that you could get away with much around her.  

In going through the old letters, I found a letter written on a Sunday evening, March 28, 1937 from Mariah Saul Weisenauer to my grandmother, Cliffie Weisenauer Shockney.  It was written a year before my great-grandmother, Bertha Northcutt Weisenauer's, death on March 6, 1938.  It looks like it was written in pencil.  I typed the letter to make it easier to read and tried not to correct too many words or punctuation.

                                                                                                            Sund Eve March 28, 1937

Dear Children

I wonder how you are this eve had a nice Easter I hope.  It was nice sunny day but rather cool.   lot People was disappointed I suppose.  I am glad I don’t try to make a big spread with new things for this day if I’d went any place I’d wore my winter duds.  I was home all day but the day does not seem so long you see, I don’t get up so early then till I get my morning work don and get breakfast over the four noon is nearly over we have been having such tarable weather for the last 4 or 5 days worse for one then in the dead of winter but I hope it won’t last long but acorden to the old Jermon rine (?)

 March will go out like a lion.  I had your card yesterday you misted my birthday just a few days the 23 is the date I was 73.  Just think ten more years I’d be 83 and that is pretty old.  I’ll never live that long I’m shure nor do I want to its different with old People then it is with younger People.  Old People have nothing to live for they just  drift from day to day if they have always been active why they think that is the way to be happy and it is I am shure I’m happy doing what chores I have to do I know everyone thinks I shouldn’t be doing what I am doing but I’d quit some day.  Can’t tell just when, I’m living on borried time now.

I hope you got all your sewing done I gess you have ben quite busy this winter now you better rest a bit.  I was at your folks last Sunday.  John’s Stella’s and Charles and his best girl was there.  Had a nice time your Mother is not very good.  It seem so odd to be there and she can’t do much she lets the children do just as they please she don’t bother what they are preparing for Eats  I don’t believe she’ll ever be any better but one can’t tell with the ambishon she has got as long as there is life there is hope.  Gil and Della are not very well.  Della haven’t ben well all winter but Gil was doing so well till the last weeks I think they boath had the Flu.

 

Della said they both are so weak it seems like Gil’s stomach bothers him again.  You know he has ulsers of the stomach but was getting so much better he has ben on a diet since last September.  Just light foods and milk, but Della trouble is her Kidneys.  They throw so much poison in hi system I think that Climate down thare is not good for her.  I don’t want her to go next winter she got sick soon as she got down thare.  I do hop you all are well as for myself I’m ben fine all winter I took some Cod liver oil last fall and it helped me that would be good for Ache yess Ache.  How are you and how are you doing in school do you like to go to school when you mother writes to me you write to me to and tell all about every thing

This Cod liver that I took are in tablet supposed to be one teaspoon of oil in one tablet  I got them from the Rolla man.  Answer soon  from Mama 

Here is a picture of a family get-together around 1937.  Mariah is in the middle with the dark flowered dress.  My grandmother is standing to the left at the end.  

This letter tells you so much about her thoughts and feelings at that time of her life.  I was especially struck by her saying that she wasn't sure that she would live another 10 years. Mariah died on 2-9-1947.  She would have turned 83 on 3-23-1947.  She almost made it another 10 years.

This is probably going to be one of my favorite letters, although I'm just starting to read all of them.  And, still can't figure out what 'Jermon rine' or 'Ache yess Ache' means.

 

 

Enjoy reading and meeting my great, great-grandmother, Mariah Theresa Saul Weisenauer b. 3-23-1864 in Bloom Twp, Seneca Co, OH and died 2-9-1947 in Liberty Twp, Howard Co, IN.  Mariah married 2-13-1881 to Henry Jacob (Jake) Weienauer.  Jake had died 10 years earlier in 1927.

This letter is 80 years old - wonderful family memories

Bertha Northcutt Weisenauer Memory Record

The Old Family Letters

Many moons ago before the internet, cell phones and no long distance charges, people would write letters to each other to keep in touch.  There are several large totes full of  letters and notes between members of our family – our grandmother, great-grandfather, great aunts and uncles and our mother.  Even found some letters from me to my grandmother and mother.  There are some surprises, too including letters from relatives in Ohio that we may not have recognized if it weren’t for all the old family pictures that our grandmother and mother had saved.

One of the most precious booklet we found was the Memorial Record of Bertha Northcutt Weisenauer, our great-grandmother.  She had died in 1938 so my brother, sister and I never knew her.  Here is a picture of our great-grandfather and great-grandmother, I believe is their wedding picture around the year, 1900.

Bertha Northcutt Weisenauer was born on August 30, 1884 in Lebanon, Boone County, Indiana and died on March 6, 1938 in Greentown (Plevna), Howard County, Indiana at home.  Included in the Memorial Record booklet are the newspaper obituaries of her death.

Our great-grandparents, Ed and Bertha Weisenauer, had been married for almost 38 years and had five children including our grandmother.  There are many saved letters between the five children, their dad and my mother to read – a lifetime of memories.

Progression of Life

Last August I came across a poem called "Alzheimer's Poem" that really touched my heart.  I found that the poem is actually titled "Do Not Ask Me To Remember" and written by Owen Darnell.  I located a copy of the poem on the Alzheimers.net blog 

My mother suffered from dementia before passing away in September of 2008. My brother, sister and I battled this disease for her the last couple of years of her life.  We don't know when it started or if she even understood what was really going on.  There were times that she seemed herself and other times, nothing made sense.  I could get so angry inside.

Here is "Progression of Life"  that I wrote in February, 2012. 

  

Life! It doesn't slow down for anyone. The progression is the same - we are a child, a young adult, middle-age, retired, old-age and then we ............. We can't control the progression. The progression may be short or it may be long. Oh, we can sometimes do things to control the speed of the progression; but the progression is still inevitable.

As a young child, do you remember when an old relative passed away? You know, the great-great uncle that you couldn't remember ever seeing before. He's just an old man - sort of spooky, too. He just doesn't look real lying in that pretty shiny wooden box with the satin pillow and cover; hands folded gently across his waist. The smell of roses consumes you. You really don't feel good and just don't want to be there, but your mother holds your hand close to her side as she talks to other unknown relatives. Her voice is quiet and soft. You feel safe with her by your side.

As an older child, a young child of one of your mother's friend's dies. You go with your mother to the funeral. You don't know too many of the people there, but you understand their sadness. You also feel the sadness seeing a child lying in that pretty shiny wooden box with the satin pillow and cover; with hands gently folded across his waist. The fragrance of roses is familiar. It's sort of scary seeing a child like yourself and you stand close to your mother - and you feel safe.

You grow up and start a life of your own. Through all the ups and downs, your mother is always there to lend encouragement, advice and yes, sometimes a little financial help. She never tries to run your life; she is just your support when you need her. You feel safer just knowing that she is close by - you are still her child. She is still your mother.

The progression of life continues and then it hits you. Your mother is at the old-age phase. She's acting different. Oh, she has always been a little eccentric, but this is different. She talks about things that aren't real. She forgets to pay bills. She is not taking care of herself. She thinks people are going to take her stuff. She thinks other people are you......... We children start talking about what we need to do. There are no good choices for our mother. In order for her to be safe, we are going to have to take her happiness from her. The happiness that she had worked so hard for. The happiness that she so deserved. But, she can't live by herself surrounded by all her pretties and possessions. The hallucinations have taken over.

She walks downtown and sits on a bench outside the Subway waiting for her son to pick her up. There were no plans for her son to pick her up. Her son gets a phone call from the nice sheriff. Her son goes into town to pick her up and take her back home. She knew he was suppose to pick her up.

Decisions were made. She was not happy. While she stayed with me, there were good days and there were bad days. Sometimes we could talk and remember the good times. A lot of the times we argued over stupid stuff - she didn't want to take her medicine, she didn't want me throwing her trash away. She wanted to save everything. She would lock me out of the bedroom. I tried not to get angry, but there were times that I was so angry inside. I tried not to be because I knew she couldn't help it. I just wanted her to be like she use to be. I wanted her to be my mother. I wanted my mother back!

Before I would go to work, I would turn on the TV to CNN. I never understood why she wanted to watch that all day. She could get so upset over politics. I would bring her breakfast and lunch to her. Then, made sure she took her medicine. She stayed in the bedroom with the door closed during the day. She didn't like my dog and my son was also there. She just felt safer in the bedroom. I would lean down and give her a hug and kiss before leaving for work. She would always tell me I looked pretty. One morning she said, "If I can do anything for you, just let me know. I don't have much, but I will help you."

I think it took me awhile to realize why I would get so angry with her. I was angry because I was losing my mother and it was happening right before my eyes. I couldn't control it. I was losing the person that made me feel safe and loved me no matter what. She wasn't fighting the dementia so she could keep being my mother. I wanted her to fight the dementia - wasn't I giving her a pill to help slow that progression down?

Mothers always consider their children still their children no matter how old they are. I had not thought of myself as a child for years. Actually, I'm not sure I ever thought of myself as a child. But, like we never stop being a mother, we also never stop being a child. The anger was really coming from the child in me. The child was losing her mother, the loving, protective (and, sometimes eccentric) mother that made her feel safe and loved no matter what.

She really couldn't help that the dementia had taken over. There was no fight left to fight. It was just the progression of life...............

A Most Peculiar Couple

I find the old wedding and obituary write-ups from the 1800s and early 1900s very interesting and fun to read.  The write-ups were much more detailed about the person and/or event than they seem to be today.  I found the obituary write-ups for my great, great, great grandparents are quite entertaining.  William M. Northcutt and Lucinda Gardner were married on September 21, 1853.  They shared a long life together in Union Twp, Hendricks Co, Indiana, she was 75 when she died a couple of years earlier than William.  He was 85 when he passed away.  He was a farmer and Lucinda kept house.
                  
They had six children, Ambrose Dudley Northcutt, their third child, was my great, great grandfather and is pictured to the left.  Quite a handsome man.

Our lineage is:  William M. Northcutt -- Ambrose Dudley Northcutt -- Bertha Northcutt Weisenauer -- Cliffie Weisneauer Shockney -- Joan Smith Beheler and then me.

The youngest two daughters born to William and Lucinda died as infants - one was about a month old and the other died at birth.

Lucinda Gardner Northcutt died October 28, 1911.  She was 75 years of age. Her obituary was written up in the Danville Gazette November 2nd.  It read as follows:

Mrs. Lucinda Northcutt, wife of Wm. Northcutt, died at her home three miles northeast of this place Saturday night from the infirmities of age.  She was 75 years old and leaves a husband and three children, Dudley Northcutt and Mrs. Sarah French, residing in this community, and James Northcutt of Kansas.  Three children are dead.  Mrs. Northcutt had lived in this vicinity since she was twelve years old, coming here from Rush county.  She clung to many of the pioneer ways.  One of her peculiarities was that she would never wear any article of head dress other than a sun bonnet.  She will be remembered in this community as a kind neighbor, ever ready to help others in time of need.  The funeral was preached at the home Monday morning by Rev. John Northcutt, and the remains were interred in the Poplar Grove cemetery.

William M. Northcutt passed away on July 15, 1913.  He was 81 years old.  The write-up by the Danville Gazette on July 17th read as follows:

Wm. Northcutt, 85, living northeast of Lizton, died Tuesday and was buried at the Poplar Grove cemetery yesterday afternoon.  In many ways deceased was a peculiar character.  He never rode on a railroad train and although he lived within three miles of an interurban line he never saw an electrically propelled car.  He had not visited Indianapolis since the early sixties.  During war times he was a southern sympathizer to some extent and one day while in Indianapolis he was roughly handled on account of his political views.  He vowed he would never visit the capital city again and the vow was not broken.  His wife died about a year ago.    

 I hope you enjoyed meeting William M. and Lucinda Northcutt.   

Birthday Celebrations at My Grandmother's

Holidays and birthdays were celebrated at my grandmother's house with very few exceptions.  Even as we grew up, got married and started our own families, celebrations were always held at her home.  It may not have always been on the actual day, but we celebrated together close to it. This remained the same until her death in January, 1978.  She started combining birthdays that were close together - it seemed we had a lot of birthdays in November and December.  The combinations usually included a member from the older generation with someone from the younger generation.

Wendy's was on the 9th and Uncle John's was on the 15th.  Wendy, my daughter and Uncle John, my grandmother's brother celebrated their birthdays together.  Please note that Wendy had all 4 of her candles, but Uncle John would only take 1.





My grandmother's was the 7th and Jenny's was the 12th.  My grandma and Jennifer, my daughter, celebrated their birthdays together.  This picture was probably taken in December, 1973.





My great-grandpa's was on the 22nd and mine was the 26th, so we celebrated our birthdays together. Taken December 26, 1971, my great-grandfather was celebrating his 90th birthday.  Pretty cool!




Then we have my brother and sister celebrating their February birthdays.  Her's was on the 12th and he's on the 14th.  Yes, that is Valentine's Day.  When he and Debby married, we had three birthdays celebrated at the same time.  Her's was on the 13th.

My grandmother was able to get all 3 sets of candles on the cake.

After the death of my grandmother in 1978, the dynamic of our birthday celebrations changed.  Our own families were growing and my grandmother's generation were soon gone.  She and her siblings were the glue to our Weisenauer family.  Once that generation was gone, each branch went their own separate way.  That's just the way it is for most families.

And, although our own birthday celebrations changed,  my brother, sister and I all got together for our mother's birthday.  Her birthday was on the 4th of July and as she would say, the whole country celebrated with her.  We started celebrating my mother's birthday up at the Lake Shafer, Monticello, IN where my sister and her family had a cottage.  Sitting outside watching the boats and skiers passing by, we ate picnic foods like fried chicken, potato salad, cole slaw, hamburgers and hotdogs.  Debby would make Mother's birthday cake and decorate it as the American flag with strawberries and blueberries.  The kids would go out tubing or swimming and even try water skiing.  Then there were some of us that would just sit outside and talk.  My mother could come up with some of the funniest stories - we'd laugh so hard, tears would stream down our faces.  


And, we would all hope that someone would be setting off fireworks towards the evening.
     








                                                             

The Last Will and Testament of John Wilson Beheler

The story of my great-grandparents, John W. and Mattie Beheler, and their children is just heart breaking.  I only remember meeting my grandfather, Jessie 'Barnie' Beheler, once and that was at my father's funeral in 1959 when I was 11.  I remember him as a big man with sort of a gruff voice.  I don't think I talked to him - actually, I don't remember talking to anyone at my father's funeral.  I remember the sadness, hurt and confusion.

My great-grandparents were a very handsome couple.  My grandfather, Jessie Barnard Beheler was born January 11, 1890 in Henderson Co, KY.  He was the 8th child of John W. and Mattie Beheler.  This picture looks to be taken around late 1891 or early 1892.  Instead of Mattie holding their young child, John W. is holding him with his arm around him and other hand on his son's knee.  This tells me that John W. was a very loving father and respectful husband. You can see that my grandfather felt very comfortable and safe sitting on his father's lap.  This has to be one of my favorite family pictures.
John Wilson Beheler was born on September 1, 1849 in KY (probably Allen Co) to William C. and Mary Ann (McClary) Beheler.  He was their 4th child.  John Wilson's own father died when he was 12 or 13.  John Wilson Beheler married Mattie Monroe Hancock on June 6, 1872 in McLean Co, KY.  Mattie was born October 28, 1855 in Ohio Co, KY.  She was 16.  John and Mattie had 9 children

James William born 5-20-1875 and died 1-12-1952
Bertha A   born 11-17-1879 and died 8-5-1964
Lulu B  born 1-1881 and died ?
Otha Ola  born 2-13-1883 and died 3-3-1952
Bettie Monroe  born 1884 and died 1966
Mary F  born 3-9-1886 and died 9-8-1894
Minnie Catherine  born 4-12-1888 and died 10-21-1957
Jessie Barnard  born 1-11-1890 and died 8-1-1964
Georgia May  born 12-7-1891 and died 12-1914

According to the Ohio Co, KY 1890 Tax List, John and Mattie owned land in Ohio Co.

John and Mattie became indebted to a F.M. Hoover in the amount of $36.55  This debt was collateralized using 48 acres of land owned by John and Mattie in Ohio Co, KY.  The payment of the debt was due March 11, 1893.

September 8, 1894, The Daily Journal, Henderson, KY reported:  There are seven members of the family of John W Beheler of Audubon, down with Typhoid fever.  His wife died a few days ago of the disease and one of the children was thought to be dying.  The Home Relief Association is having the family cared for by two trained nurses.  My great grandmother, Mattie Beheler died 8-30-1894 of typhoid fever.  She was 38 years old and left 9 children, the oldest being 19 and the youngest 2.  My grandfather was 4 years old.  The 8 year old, Mary F, died one week after her mother.

On September 4, 1894, John W. Beheler purchased Lot 1 with 7 plots at Fernwood Cemetery in Henderson, KY.

John and Mattie were unable to pay the debt owed to F.M. Hoover.  Suit was filed on September 19, 1896 by F.M. Hoover against John, Mattie (deceased) and listed all the children individually.  The land was appraised and valued at $500.00 and by November, 1897 the court ordered the land be deeded over.  The cost to the plaintiff was $78.60  

October 21, 1897, John W. Beheler made out his last will and testament -

In the name of God Amen, I John W. Beheler of Henderson County state of Kentucky being ill in body but of sound mind and disposing memory do make this my last will and testament as follows to wit.  After paying the expenses of my burial and the cost (not to exceed) thirty dollars of erecting a monument at my grave I wish the proceeds of my life policy in the Sun Life Insurance Company to be equally divided among my four youngest children Bettie Monroe, Minnie Catherine, Jessie Barnard and Georgie May.  I wish my son James William to have one bed and bedding.  I wish tat my daughter Bertha Ann shall have my sewing machine.  I also wish my son James William to my cooking stove and oldest set of chairs.  The rest of my furniture I will to my daughter Berta Ann to be held by her in trust and for the use and benefit of my four younger children Bettie Monroe, Minnie Catherine, Jesse Barnard and Georgie May above named.

I appoint David V. Davis executr of this my last will and testament and until guardians are appointed for my four younger children above named.  I wish him to act as such executor without bond.  I wish John C. Clevison Hancock of McLean County Ky half brother of my deceased wife and Francis M Hower of Ohio County Ky if they will do so, to each take two children I wish one half of the remainder of the proceeds of my life policy aforesaid to be paid to John C Clevison Hancock and one half the remainder of the proceeds aforesaid life policy to be paid to Francis M. Hower to be by them each used for the benefit of those of my four youngest children whom they each shall take.  In testimony whereg witness my name signed here to this

October 21st 1897
John W Beheler
his Xmark  

My great-grandfather, John W. Beheler died October 21, 1897 at the age of 48 in Henderson Co, Ky.  According to Dr. Arch Dixon, he died from 'general exhaustion.'

Ohio Valley Banking & Trust Co was appointed guardians of Minnie Catherine, Jessie Barnard and Georgie May.  All three children were committed to Louisville Baptist Orphans Home on April 6, 1898.  Minnie was 9 years old just 6 days before her 10th birthday, Jessie was 8 years old and Georgie was 6 years old.  





My grandfather's 4 sisters -  Bettie, Otha, Minnie and Bertha

         

 My grandfather, Jessie Barnard Beheler with his sister, Minnie 

            






I'm not exactly sure how to close this.  I've known bits and pieces of the story, but to put it all together with the pictures brings a new respect for the Beheler side of my family.  I admire the love they had for each other and their strength.  They are good people..........  

Jake and Mariah Saul / Weisenauer Get Together 1909

Picture/postcard of the Jake (Henry Jacob) & Mariah Saul Weisenauer family, my great, great-grandparents in Plevna, IN. I am pretty sure they are as follows: Seated left to right: Otto Glen Weisenauer (my great-grandpa's brother) holding his and Lulu's first child, Mary, who was born in May 1909. Goldie Weisenauer Singer (my grandmother's sister), Jake (Henry Jacob) Weisenauer, Stella Weisenauer Hodson (my grandmother's sister), Mariah Saul Weisenaur, Cliffie Weisenauer Shockney (my grandmother), Ed (John Edward) Weisenauer (my great grandfather) holding John Howard Weisenauer (born 1907) (my grandmother's brother). Standing in the back row left to right: Lulu Fisher Weisenauer (Otto Glen's wife), Della Weisenauer (my great-grandpa's sister) and Bertha Northcutt Weisenauer, my great-grandmother. Picture would have been taken in 1909. I believe that the May D. Saul that this picture/postcard was addressed to is Mariah Saul Weisenauer's neice (daughter of Mariah's brother, John Kagy Saul). May Della was born in 1891 and died in Nov. 1911 or 1912 (find a grave) in Liberty Twp., IN. Once again, my great-grandmother, Bertha, has her daughters looking beautiful.